I used to think love had something to do with sex. Not that there’s anything wrong with sex but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized love is so much more. It’s a birthday card snug in a kitchen drawer for five years because you just can’t throw it away. It’s the desperation you feel when you reach out to that person when something goes wrong and you just have to hear their voice. Love is the relief of letting go of the mask you put on for everyone else. Love is relaxed and comfortable like a warm sweater and a cup of tea. Why am I talking about love? Because I’m so grateful for it.

In this strange Thanksgiving when nothing is the same, love still is. We can still make a setting for love next to the butter shaped like a turkey and the mashed potatoes. Because of COVID, because of losses, people will be missing from our tables. That’s difficult. But I think it’s up to us to celebrate with gratitude anyway. It’s up to us to latch on to the love that surrounds us with a full heart and the recognition of what a treasure it is.

It’s not the same Thanksgiving. Not by a long shot. We can give thanks anyway for love, for those we love and for the gift of loving someone else.

‍

As Thanksgiving approaches, we may be struggling to cultivate an attitude of gratitude. I think it's safe to say that we are all feeling a bit emotionally fatigued these days. So now, more than ever, we need to prioritize our self-care, and be proactive with our stress management. A wonderful way to proactively manage stress is to let go of worrying about things that are outside of your control.  

It's funny how we tend to have an illusion of control over so many things in our lives. We allow ourselves to get worked up about little things such as the traffic or the weather, or bigger things such as the pandemic, yet the truth is that all of these things are outside of our control. We can certainly take actions in response to these circumstances, but those actions still don't change the reality of the traffic, weather or the pandemic. So how do we navigate through challenging circumstances with a positive attitude?

Start by identifying your circle of control. This can be accomplished by making a list of things that are within your control and things that are outside your control. When it comes to the Thanksgiving holiday, for example, your list of things outside your control may include:

• the weather
• the attitude of others
• the actions of others
• the limitations caused by COVID (food availability, travel restrictions for family and friends, venue changes, etc.)

You list of things inside your control may include:

• your food intake
• your exercise
• your attitude
• your behaviors
• your mindset

This is a wonderful exercise to help you turn your attention towards the things inside your control, and then take appropriate action towards a solution.