I’m wondering why humans can’t be more like giant pandas, simply because the average giant panda newborn is about 3 ounces! 3 ounces!! That’s it!! Giant panda moms are about 900 times larger than their babies. Talk about an easy labor! My first daughter was 9 pounds, 8 ounces, and she was 23 inches long. You know, about half the size of me (not really but that’s sure what it felt like!) How is that fair? Why do giant pandas get to sail through labor with a tiny push, and an, “oops did I pass gas?” type experience, and I get 28 hours of labor, a 4th degree tear, and quite a few dicey moments my husband still can’t talk about.

So, I wonder why. In life, there are so many difficult situations and the first thing we usually ask is why. Why us? Why this? Why now? It’s so rare that we have an answer to those questions, yet we ask, and ask. We can fabricate reasons. We can investigate probabilities. We can say it was bad luck. We can say it was part of the path that led to something better. But sometimes lately I’m thinking, maybe the best thing is to not ask why at all.

When something awful, or challenging, or sad happens, maybe the question is, “How can I incorporate this into my life?” Maybe the question is, “How can I respond with love and goodness and faith?” Or it’s, “How can I stay present and protect myself from the agony of why, why, why?”

It all brings us to the idea of living with intention, of being present in THIS moment. For me, when they put that miraculous new life in my arms 27 years ago, I literally forgot all about the trauma of the birth. I gazed at her, and she at me, and all that mattered was us. Time stopped. Childbirth is a glaring example of our own rebirth in the face of difficulty. I don’t think we can see our own gratitude and realization of relief when bad times are over, as clearly as we see it in childbirth. But, when we can put aside the struggle and focus on the now, we can begin to feel the glow of moving forward with new knowledge and new life.

You’ve heard us talk about how a thriving life comes from the awe of this very moment and our recognition of it. It comes from letting go of the grip of anxiety over what was, and what will be. It comes from breathing in to what we have and cherishing it, while resisting the temptation to ruminate about what we don’t have.

Stay here with me my friends. Let us savor all that we have with gratitude and grace.

So much of what happens in our lives is outside of our control; from simple things like the weather and traffic to more complex things such as a global pandemic or the political climate; even those things that we think we should be able to control like the actions of our loved ones. It's truly empowering to let go of things that are outside of our control and focus instead on those things that are inside our control!

The things inside of our control include our thoughts, feelings and behaviors. These three elements are intrinsically related, as each one of them will impact the other, and ultimately they are a reflection of our core energy. So even though we cannot control what others do or say, we can control how we choose to respond! And in doing so, we are essentially protecting our energy.

In our relationships with others, it is our responsibility to establish boundaries to protect our core energy. If we don't set boundaries, and be diligent in enforcing them, we leave ourselves vulnerable to what Dr. Christiane Northrupt calls "energy vampires!" We will have Dr. Northrupt on our podcast next month to take a deeper dive into energy vampires and how to protect ourselves, but for now, let's focus on how to set boundaries.

Setting boundaries is about communicating your needs and expectations to others. When doing so, it's important to use "I" statements (not "you" statements.) Be direct and specific, and keep the focus on your feelings and needs. (i.e. "I feel overwhelmed when there is a lot of clutter in the kitchen. I need space to work and move freely." rather than "you are too messy and it's driving me crazy!" Or "I love spending time with you, but I also need some alone time (or time with my friends)" rather than "you are too demanding of me and my time."

When communicating boundaries, it's important to find the right time, and to do so with a neutral voice. This should not be done in the midst of an argument; yet can be effective when done after the dust has settled. Once you have clearly communicated your boundaries to others, you should ask for and respect their boundaries in return. Having regular check ins with people to ensure that you both feel honored and respected is a great way to reinforce and/or reestablish boundaries.

Having and maintaining healthy boundaries is one key way to protect your energy. Other ways include:

• Filling up your own cup with acts of self-care and/or jolts of joy!
• Making note of things that drain your energy (possibly things such as watching the news and/or spending time with energy vampires) and then crowding those things out of your life.
• Paying attention to the things that fuel your energy, and then adding more of those things into your life.
• And, of course, letting go of worrying about things that are outside your control!

We hope you find these tips helpful in protecting and enhancing your precious energy!