The problem with adhering more than 50 balloons to the railing of your foyer staircase for your daughter’s high school graduation is that it’s not so clear when you should take them down. It was my sister’s idea and design. She’s awesome like that. She shows up for an event with a craft in the making and then executes with gusto. The backdrop just lit up our cap and gown photos and impressed my senior as she headed out to salute high school. It’s been a couple of weeks now and each time I gingerly go up or down the stairs, I marvel at how pretty they are but at the same time, I can’t hold on to the railing which isn’t good since I'm usually in a state of frenzy, carrying too much and moving too fast. A few have fallen down and that did NOT turn out well for the poor dogs who found out quickly they weren’t the fun toys they looked like. The balloons should come down. Every time I think about it though, I argue with myself for “one more day.

”Why am I struggling so much I’m wondering. Maybe the balloons represent something to me, both my sister’s love but also the transition my daughter and our family are in. So I'm holding on. I feel like our thoughts are like that. We hold on to some that we don’t really need anymore and that actually keep us stuck wallowing in what was or lamenting about what is to come.

Dr. Julie Smith, social media sensation and author of, Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? says, “We have to accept our thoughts as they arrive and then make choices about what you do with them. If I spend time with these thoughts, is that going to help me move forward where I want to go? Or if I spend time with these, what impact is that having that’s different? It’s allowing your brain to come up with whatever it comes up with and then choosing what to do next.”

This awareness of our thoughts and the purpose of them is so important. Dr. Smith says we can choose our reactions to our thoughts. That’s a pretty awesome idea. Of course, that happens when we are aware of our thoughts and their impact on our mindset and our actions.

I think many times we are held hostage by our thoughts without even realizing that we don’t have to be slaves to them. We can challenge them, argue with them, question them. It gets complicated though because thoughts get all tangled up with feelings, don’t they? So I’m wondering about the balloons and what they represent and examining my thoughts so they don’t keep me stuck. My feelings I can’t seem to do anything about but my thoughts and actions about them IS within my control and certainly science says it is. Maybe you’ll stop by my house in December and the balloons will still be there but maybe they won’t. Depends on how I feel about them!!!

A key component of living a life filled with joy is learning to let go of those things that steal your joy. Letting go is a practice that takes practice. It’s simple; yet not always easy.

We tend to let everyday annoyances such as traffic, bad weather or other’s poor attitudes steal our joy. We get frustrated and can find ourselves ruminating on how we wish things were different than they are. Unfortunately this act of ruminating on our negative thoughts has no effect on the outside circumstances, but has a tremendous impact on our inner world, which in turn impacts our physical and emotional wellbeing.

This is where The Circle of Control comes in handy. The Circle of Control is a wonderful tool that helps us to recognize what’s inside and outside of our control; and therefore enables us to focus our efforts on those things that are within our power to change, while letting go of those things that are outside of our control. For example, when sitting in traffic, we can notice that the speed in which the situation is rectified is outside our control; yet our attitude about the traffic and our subsequent actions are within our control. So we have a choice, we can beep the horn, yell at the other drivers, and get frustrated, or we can simply recognize this is outside our control and choose to let go of the frustration, relax and enjoy what I like to call “forced downtime” by tuning in to our favorite radio station or listening to a great podcast (like The Wisdom Coalition Well of Wisdom podcast - I couldn’t resist the shameless plug ☺️) or calling a friend we haven’t had time to catch up with in a while!

Using The Circle of Control empowers you and helps you gain autonomy over your ability to respond rather than react to any given circumstance. It's a tool that gives you the power to choose whether or not you will allow things that are outside of your control to steal your joy. So next time you feel yourself starting to give up your joy, ask yourself “is this inside or outside of my control?” If it’s inside your control, then take positive actions to rectify it, but if it’s outside your control, we urge you to hold onto your joy and make the conscious choice to let it go!