If I could have surgery to get my knees removed, I would have done it years ago. That’s actually my middle school brain talking. See, the first time a kid ever called me out for being, “too tall.” He said, “Hey Stilts, how’s the weather up there?” I said, “What do you want me to do? Get my knees removed?” Clever, I know. Let me tell you, there are some great things about being 6’1”. I can always spot my friends in a crowd and reach the top shelf in the grocery store. Not so great when I’m trying to buy a coat or a jacket or a cute jumpsuit. It’s just one of the many reasons over the years that I’ve willingly placed myself in front of the “I’m such a jackass” firing squad.

The other day I poured water into the coffee machine and forgot to put the pot underneath. I went outside with the dog, and boy did I come back to a mess. Call in the firing squad. The next day I went out to get the paper with a coffee cup and, even though schools had a two-hour delay, I didn’t think there was ice in MY driveway. Wiped out. Broke the cup. Hello firing squad. Another day, I peed my pants in dog training because I got laughing too hard. Oh and let’s not forget blasting Lizzo “Good as Hell” at the traffic light, singing at the top of my lungs and seeing my neighbor next to me. Yeah…I even did the point and the head nod. So embarrassing. Firing squad, hire some extra shooters.

Seems I never run out of things to beat myself up about. Little bit of this and a little bit of that. And when the firing starts, it’s pretty hard to stop it until I’m completely flattened. I don’t even notice it when I’m doing it. Just load up and fire away. And now I’m finding out at this point in my life that I can actually put a safety on those guns, and it’s called self-compassion. What a novel idea. Honestly, I’ve taken enough bullets to last a lifetime and usually, they hurt like hell. This idea of self-compassion is changing my life. We hope it will change yours too.

Happy New Year! Hope you had a wonderful holiday season filled with lots of joy!

So, did you make any New Year's resolutions this year? Studies show that about 80% of those who make New Year's resolutions fail to keep their resolutions, with less than 25% still committed to their resolutions after just 30 days! So if you've fallen off the wagon already, it's helpful to know that you are not alone!

It's difficult to feel as though we've failed at anything in life; especially since we typically berate ourselves for days if not weeks (and sometimes even years) afterwards. The key to letting go of our perceived failures and moving forward with positivity is practicing self-compassion.

According to self-compassion researcher, Kristin Neff, there are three components of self-compassion:

1. Mindfulness ~ notice and label your pain. Allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling without over identifying with it.
2. Common Humanity ~ recognize our shared human experience. Understanding that everyone suffers, fails and makes mistakes.
3. Self Kindness ~ simply being kind to yourself. Treating yourself as you would a dear friend or loved-one.

Each of these components plays an integral role in cultivating self-compassion. For me, the common humanity component has been life-changing. Reminding myself that I am not alone, and knowing that we all struggle and suffer at times in life, coupled with the ability to talk to myself as I would a dear friend and allow myself to feel my feelings has helped me get through some very difficult experiences in my life.

Dr. Neff says that self-compassion is not an innate quality, but rather a skill we can all learn, and a practice that will dramatically improve your life.

We hope you will join us at our upcoming Renewal Retreat where we will dive deeper into how to cultivate a practice of self-compassion.