Lately I’m having more “Preparation H under the eyes” types of mornings. Wait, you don’t do that? It’s a classic TV news trick. You wake up with puffy eyes, Preparation H saves the day. What? It’s not so bad. Of course you keep a designated tube for this purpose. Can’t have your tube doing double duty if you know what I mean. It used to be that I used this trick when I stayed out too late or had too many cocktails. These days I need it for the many times I’m counting all of the lasts that haunt moms of high school seniors. I walk into the school lugging my crockpot of macaroni and cheese for the cast and crew dinner thinking, "It’s (sniffle) the last (sniffle) time (sniffle.)" But then I’m crying for a different reason when I pack a hot lunch for school and I giggle, “It’s one of the last times!!”

Our whole family is in a strange, complicated, emotional transition and it’s not easy for anyone. I often think the senior year is like the ninth month of pregnancy; the child has outgrown their space and they want out and you know what? You love them, but you kind of want them to get out too!! But then five minutes later you’re desperately wishing they will never leave.

Here’s what I’m trying to do. I’m trying to be present. That means, I’m not looking back too much at the child she was so I can allow her to become the adult she wants to be. I’m trying not to look too much into the future and obsess over decisions and details so I can allow her to find the path that speaks to her in her own time and her own way.

I'm trying to just breathe in to this moment and this experience in all of its turmoil and blessings and know that my feelings are not on trial. I don’t need to interrogate them or charge them with being right are wrong. They just are and I just am.

At the same time, my mom just turned 88. Talk about a full circle moment: the past, the future, and me, right in the middle. Trying to breathe and see through eyes clouded by tears or Preparation H or both. But the moment is mine and I will lean in and embrace it.

Mindfulness has become a popular topic in recent years, yet living in the present is not just a fad or trendy lifestyle tip. Rather, it is a way of life that is backed up by good science.

Science shows that being present minded is the key to staying healthy and happy. Thousands of studies have proven that mindfulness helps fight anxiety, reduce worrying and rumination, and keeps you grounded and connected to yourself and everything around you. Being present and mindful can also help you deal with physical and emotional pain more effectively, as well as help you reduce stress and decrease its impact on your health.

As Jon Kabat-Zinn says “The only time you ever have in which to learn anything or see anything or feel anything, or to grow, or heal, is this moment, because this is the only moment any of us ever gets. You’re only here now; you’re only alive in this moment.”

I had an opportunity to be reminded of the importance of staying in the present moment recently when my husband and I became victims of identity theft. I found myself thinking the dreaded “could have, should have, would have” thoughts of anger and frustration, followed by the “what if this happens” thoughts of fear and worry. I felt like life was spiraling out of control until I forced myself to stop and “be present minded!” I reminded myself that the event had already occurred, and thinking “we should have” (being in the past) isn’t  helpful; and worrying about what "could happen next" (being in the future) isn’t helpful either, but breathing and staying present in the moment with a clear mind and a solution-focused intention is helpful!

Of course, it’s essential to a healthy life to spend some time thinking about the past and the future, but experts provide this advice:

• Think about the past in small doses, and make sure you are focusing on the past for a reason (i.e., to relive a pleasant experience, to learn a lesson by identifying where you went wrong so that you don’t repeat the same mistake, or to figure out the key to a past success).
• Think about the future in small doses, and make sure you are focusing on the future in a healthy, low-anxiety way (i.e., don’t spend time worrying about the future, think about the future in a positive way, and do so just long enough to prepare for it and then move on).
• Stay in the present moment for the vast majority of your time.

I want to close by sharing one of my favorite quotes about living in the present moment from Dr. Wayne Dyer “Stop acting as if life is a rehearsal. Live this day as if it were your last. The past is over and gone. The future is not guaranteed.”