I could tell as soon as my daughter came through the door; the slumped shoulders, tight lips, downcast eyes said everything. “What’s wrong?” The logical question. “Nothing,” the dreaded answer.  Of course, the more I poked, the less she wanted to answer and the more angry she got. Now, she’s 13. I get it.

Whatever it is, she doesn’t necessarily want to talk to me about it. I admit I’ve done the same to people over the years. But it hurts to be shut out. It’s terrifying. You’re mind goes wild with possibilities.  

I finally broke her at bedtime and she coughed up the grievance as I did a huge mental exhale at where my mind had gone. The offense was totally not catastrophic, but in her mind, it was. I wondered why she didn’t just tell me when she came in the door. “It’s complicated Mom.” Yes, it certainly is.

Communicating our feelings takes courage and an honest look at our own thoughts and actions. It’s not something that comes easily for me. Actually, you kind of have to hit me in the head with a hammer to get me to open up most times, but I have been thinking a lot about how important communication is and certainly how vital it is for all of our relationships.

That’s why our Renewal Retreat will be focused on understanding what you’re saying, how your saying it and why your saying it. I’m sure I’ll be learning with all of you. Can’t wait to see you there.

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I walked into my daughter's 7th grade Back to School Night and was thrilled to see this wonderful poster hung up on the wall. It said THINK Before You Speak.

T ~ Is it True?
H ~ Is it Helpful?
I ~ Is it Inspiring?
N ~ Is it Necessary?
K ~ Is it Kind?

This is great advice, not only for children, but for people of all ages!

I've also heard it said that before we speak we should ask ourselves if what we are going to say is an improvement over the silence. Sometimes we speak just to fill the silence; I know I do! And other times we forget to listen while others are speaking, as we are just so anxious to have our turn to talk.

These are some of the many issues we will address during our Renewal Retreat. We hope you will join us for a helpful, inspiring and kind conversation about the art of communication!