If what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, I imagine most of us should be down right superheroes by now, able to lift cars over our heads, or even fly. Who hasn’t arrived at this point in life without quite a few outbursts of, “Give me strength!” Or “I’m not strong enough for this!” Life, and struggles, and uncertainty, and even love, require strength, and lots of it. But not all strength looks the same. 

When Kim and I first set out as The Wisdom Coalition, we noticed right away that there were some things she was better at, and some things that I was better at. For example, when we faced a disruption of any kind, Kim could be counted on to be calm and rational. I, on the other hand, could be counted on to be, well let’s just say, dramatic. So, we figured out ways to allow her strength to lead us when necessary, so that I wouldn’t take us both into a cyclone of emotional hypothesizing about worst-case scenarios. 

Since then, we have taken this idea into every aspect of our work. We took time to literally spot the strengths in each other, and then figured out a way to have them push and pull, so that we could be a stronger, more balanced, and successful team. But it’s not just professionally that we noticed this excavating of our strengths benefiting us. 

Positive psychology is the study of what’s strong in our lives and so understanding and using our strengths is a huge part of a thriving, happy life. You have a unique recipe that makes up who you are, and at the top of that list of ingredients, you’ll find the strengths you bring to your life and to the world. There’s a wonderful tool that we share in many of our teachings called the VIA Character Strengths assessment. It’s doesn’t cost anything and it shows you what your signature strengths are. This understanding can help you move in a direction toward what you’re good at with confidence. It can help you navigate your relationships with a unique understanding of what boundaries you need, and why. 

We’ve taken the VIA assessment many times, and as our lives change, the shuffling of our top five character strengths seems to shuffle too. There are 24 character strengths listed, and just because something isn’t in the top five doesn’t mean you don’t have that strength, it just means there are a few stronger than others. 

I took the VIA again to write this newsletter. I took it the last time about three years ago. Since we are always changing, my top five shuffled a bit. I came up with kindness, humor, curiosity, social intelligence, and self-regulation. So interesting. I remember one of the first times I was at Kim’s house and she noticed a bug on the carpet. She stopped everything, got a piece of paper, and gently coaxed the bug onto it so she could put it outside. At that time, I remember suggesting she just smack it with a book. Hmmm, and now I come up with kindness as my top character strength. What’s happened here? Probably some of her strengths have rubbed off on me, and probably our work with exploring inner peace, joy, and positivity has softened me….a lot! 

That’s what makes strength spotting so fantastic! We can become aware of strengths we didn’t know we had, and we can work on becoming the person we want to be by paying attention to what we do, and why we do it. We’ve learned so much and have gotten so much confidence understanding what comes naturally and how to harness those powers, and pinpointing where we want to be more fulfilled and whole. 

There’s another wonderful thing about being aware of our strengths. We also become aware of the strengths of others, and then we can point that out and tell them! When you focus on and find your strengths and work with them, your life can flow much more easily. Sometimes we try to fit a square peg into a round hole and be something we aren’t, because we think we should be this or that. Understanding and cultivating your strengths will give you more confidence, and interestingly, more strength. So maybe you can become something of a superhero after all. 

Positive psychology defines character strengths as positive traits that are beneficial to us, and that others tend to admire, respect and cherish. They lead us to positive emotions, positive relationships, greater vitality, and meaningful life activities. Studies show that we flourish when we identify and use our strengths in new and interesting ways each day.

Research shows that people who know their strengths and utilize them are happier, more productive, and more successful in reaching their objectives. Psychologists say that people who use their strengths report lower levels of depression, higher levels of vitality and overall good mental health.

It's important to note that not all personal strengths are character strengths. Talents and natural abilities are also strengths, but they are not part of our character, and they tend to be more hard-wired and less changeable. Character strengths are also different than skills we develop. Character strengths feel essential to who we are as a person. They feel natural and effortless. And we feel energized and uplifted when we use our character strengths.

So now that we understand what constitutes character strengths and we know the benefits of identifying and using our strengths, let’s take a deeper dive into the 24 VIA Character Strengths.

The 24 character strengths measured by the VIA fall under six larger categories called virtues. Below is a list and definition of the 24 character strengths and the six virtues.

1. WISDOM - Cognitive strengths that entail the acquisition and use of knowledge

• Creativity - Thinking of novel and productive ways to do things
• Curiosity - Taking an interest in ongoing experience for its own sake
• Judgment - Thinking things through and examining them from all sides
• Love of Learning - Mastering new skills
• Perspective - Being able to provide wise counsel to others

2. COURAGE - Emotional strengths that involve the exercise of will to accomplish goals in the face of opposition (external or internal)

• Bravery - Not shrinking from threat, challenge, difficulty, or pain
• Perseverance - Finishing what one starts; persisting in a course of action in spite of obstacles
• Honesty - Speaking the truth but more broadly presenting oneself in a genuine way
• Zest - Approaching life with excitement and energy

3. HUMANITY - Interpersonal strengths that involve "tending" and "befriending" others

• Love - Valuing close relations with others, in particular those in which sharing and caring are reciprocated
• Kindness - Doing favors and good deeds for others; helping them; taking care of them
• Social Intelligence - Being aware of the motives and feelings of other people and oneself

4. JUSTICE - Civic strengths that underlie healthy community life

• Teamwork - working well as a member of a group; loyal
• Fairness - Treating all people the same according to notions of fairness and justice
• Leadership - Encouraging a group of which one is a member to get things done and at the same time maintain good relations within the group

5. TEMPERANCE - Strengths that protect against excess

• Forgiveness - Forgiving those who have done wrong
• Humility - Letting one's accomplishments speak for themselves
• Prudence - Being careful about one's choices
• Self-regulation - Regulating what one feels and does; being disciplined

6. TRANSCENDENCE - Strengths that forge connections to the larger universe and provide meaning

• Appreciation of beauty and excellence - Noticing and appreciating beauty, excellence, and/or skilled performance in all domains of life, from nature to art to mathematics to science to everyday experience
• Gratitude - Being aware of and thankful for the good things that happen; taking time to express thanks
• Hope - Expecting the best in the future and working to achieve it
• Humor - Liking to laugh and tease; bringing smiles to other people; seeing the light side; making (not necessarily telling) jokes
• Spirituality - Having coherent beliefs about the higher purpose and meaning of the universe

Once you get the hang of identifying your own strengths, it’s much easier to spot them in others. Positive Psychology calls this strengths-spotting. Strengths-spotting helps to create positive relationships when you convey your appreciation to the person for their strength use. Consider, if the strength use inspires you, attracts you, or helps you connect with the person. Then simply tell the person why you admire that strength in them, why it’s of value to you, or how it positively influences you or others. We’d love to hear how this activity helps to spark joy in your life and your relationships!