Sometimes being inside my head feels like a grenade with the pin pulled out. It always feels like I need to be doing something. Even if it’s Sunday afternoon and the laundry is folded and dinner is in a crock pot, I think, “Shouldn’t I be doing something?” And forget about when there’s an actual crisis. Than I can be counted on to be screaming inside my head, “DO SOMETHING!” Now here’s the thing. If I was holding an actual grenade with the pin pulled out, yeah, I would need to do something. But most of the time, I really don’t.

This was all news to me the first time Kim quietly say, “You know, we are human beings not human doings.” I’m sure I was knee deep in a grenade intense line of questioning about what I should do about this or that. I’m also sure I probably shot back with, “You don’t understand….” But she does. She understands that this plummet I get myself into usually ends with me in a face plant. And I’m finally starting to see it too.

Now, I could delve into the reasons why I imagine I do this, but that’s a book not a newsletter. What’s important in this discussion is the self-examination of what we do instinctively that isn’t putting us in the best, safest, most satisfying state of mind to be positive, find joy and excel at whatever we want.

This is what we are designing our spring retreat around-this idea that there is an undertow in your life. An undertow is basically waves that travel underneath the surface of the water. They’re hard to see but really easy to feel as they prevent us from moving in the direction we want to go, and sometimes turn us completely upside down. We can see the shore and vastness of the ocean beyond but if we get stuck in the undertow, we can’t get to either of those places.

So what’s your undertow? What is it that you are struggling against when you really don’t need to? What is it that jostling you around and creating chaos in your life? We will help you answer these questions.

Ironically, if you get stuck in an undertow, you aren’t supposed to DO anything. Just go with the flow until you’re out of it. And I'm learning something else too. You can actually put a pin back in a grenade.

Carefully, of course, but it can be done. You can create a different reality with understanding and action. Hope to see you in April!

Sometimes in life we may feel as though we are being pulled into a downward spiral, which can ultimately lead to being stuck in a constant cycle of negativity. This can be due to outside circumstances (such as world events, issues at work or at home), or it can be the result of consuming too much negativity, but oftentimes it begins inside of us, and stems from our own self-limiting beliefs.

Self-limiting beliefs are defined by experts as "the assumptions or perceptions we have about ourselves and the way the world works.” They are called “self-limiting” because by holding on to these beliefs, we are in some way holding ourselves back from achieving our goals and being our best selves.

Research shows that we learn these belief systems as young children, and then we move through life creating experiences to match our beliefs.

Mark Manson, three-time #1 New York Times bestselling author, states that limiting beliefs typically come in three “flavors.” He identifies these flavors as:

• Limiting beliefs about yourself. These are beliefs that make you feel like you can’t do something because something is inherently wrong with you.
• Limiting beliefs about the world. These are beliefs that make you feel like you can’t do something because no one will let you.
• Limiting beliefs about life. These are beliefs that make you feel like you can’t do something because it’s too difficult.

Spotting our limiting beliefs can be challenging; however, once we’ve identified them, we can take steps to overcome them. Identifying them requires that we stop, get quiet, and look inward.

Once you’ve identified your limiting beliefs, ask yourself these questions: “What if I’m wrong?” and “How is this belief serving me?” Then work to create alternative beliefs that empower you to move forward rather than remain stuck.

We will be taking a deeper dive into this process during our upcoming retreat. We hope to see you there!