I took my parents for couples cataract surgery a few weeks ago. Apparently that’s a thing. Who knew? My mom came out first and as I stood beside her bed with my left hand resting on her forearm, they wheeled my dad up beside us. He looked up at me from the gurney in his post-anesthesia haze and he reached for my right hand. As I placed my hand in his standing between them, I thought, ‘Ah…so this is the sandwich generation’.

I had dropped my daughter off for her high school orientation before I picked my parents up for their surgery. I realized it’s not just a sandwich for me right now, it’s a big sloppy hoagie with all the fixin’s. To be honest, it can feel overwhelming. Things change so fast and it can feel like trying to get your footing on a sheet of ice.

Right now we are preparing for our annual Camp Connect which has me thinking it’s all really about connection isn’t it? We all want to feel connected to the people we love even if that definition changes from time to time. My daughter used to want me to tuck her in every night. Now she wants me on a different floor of the house when she goes to bed.

I think understanding our feelings is part of it too. What do we need from the people we love and what do they need from us? Seems we figure that out by understanding our own emotions first. We’ll be talking about these things in the next couple of months on our podcasts and at Camp Connect. Hope to connect with you one of those places!

In last month’s newsletter I talked about why it’s so important to let our feelings flow. I shared how keeping them bottled up inside negativity impacts our physical health and emotional wellbeing. And I referenced a process for working through our emotions in a healthy manner. That process begins with recognizing and accepting that you have been triggered emotionally.

The next step is labeling your emotions (referred to in Positive Psychology as affect labeling.) This is a very important step that we often skip over as we try to either stuff the emotion down or worse yet, impulsively react to it.

According to experts in Positive Psychology, "being able to move through a struggle in ways that are productive instead of reactive requires us to, above all else, recognize and identify our emotions."

Research shows that on average, people can identify and articulate 3 main emotions (happy, sad and angry), yet according to research from Dr. Brené Brown, there are 30 core emotions we must learn to recognize in order to achieve emotional literacy. We will dig deeper into these emotions during our upcoming Camp Connect.

It’s also important that we know why we are feeling certain emotions in order for us to properly process through them.  Oftentimes getting to the root of the emotion(s) helps start the healing process. Sometimes this feels a little like peeling back the layers of an onion to expose the underlying emotion which needs the most attention.

Labeling emotions is a skill that takes introspection and practice. When we talk about living our lives from the inside out, it involves getting to know and understand what’s in your heart. It involves taking a closer look at who you are and who you want to be. Oftentimes getting clear on the WHY behind our emotions helps us to better understand ourselves and also others. We can’t have empathy for others if we aren’t in tune with our own feelings. This is how we experience connection through our shared humanity.

So I urge you to take the time to dig deeper into the WHY behind your emotions, label them as they arise, and give yourself permission to truly feel each and every one of them without judgement or shame.

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