Love All Your Parts!
By Nancy Werteen and Kim Howie
The Power of Joy
You ALL Are Beautiful
I had a mammogram the other day and I seriously wanted to kiss the x-ray technician right on her lips! Hold on now. Wipe that shocked look off of your face and hear me out. Before I go on, maybe I should apologize to our male subscribers, but actually, you guys probably won’t mind reading about boobs and women kissing women. So I’ll carry on. It’s 2021 and for some reason, I’ve made it a routine to kick off the New Year with a mammogram. I’m such a party girl that way. Anyway, I’m in the screening room in my pink half top, opening in the front, and the technician grabs a handful and is doing her pulling, squeezing, and tugging to get my left boob positioned just right between the two plates of her mammogram machine. Now I’m thinking to myself, She’s dealing with boobs all day and I bet she has an easier time with women who are a little more well-endowed. So I sheepishly say, “Sorry I’m not giving you much to work with here.” She actually froze, looked me right in the eye and said, “I can’t tell you how many women say that to me. You all say you’re too small or too big or too lopsided or whatever. I think you ALL are beautiful.” She paused for effect and that’s when the kiss almost happened. Good thing she and I were wearing masks! But, what an amazing thing to say! She DOES see all kinds of boobs all day long and she thinks they’re all terrific. She went on to talk about how she wishes we women wouldn’t be so hard on ourselves. She said, “You all should love yourselves just the way you are.” She’s totally right, don’t you think? Not just because she sees enough boobs to make a judgment call about them but because she sees enough women berating themselves even when we’re getting screened for breast cancer, even in front of a medical professional who really doesn’t have the time or interest to judge size or shape or quality. I left there feeling great. I left there wanting to rush up to the first woman I saw and tell her how great her boobs are!! Course I didn’t do that and I didn’t kiss the technician on the lips but I did thank her profusely and I promised to spread her message to as many women as I can!
The Power of Why
Our Bodies Are Amazing
As women we tend to spend a lot of time judging and criticizing our body parts. We say things like “I wish my x was bigger” or “I wish my y was smaller” or “I really hate my z!” (I’ll let you fill in your own x, y, and z!) And when others compliment us on some aspect of our physical appearance, we find it hard to simply say “thank you” without tacking on some derogatory words about our body or retorting back with a comparative comment (something like “thanks, but I wish mine was more like yours!”)
Why do we do that? Why can’t we love our bodies exactly as they are? This is likely due to habit created by our innate negativity bias (meaning that our brains are designed to look for what’s wrong in an effort to protect us and keep us safe), but the good news is that we can train our brains to look for what’s strong rather than what’s wrong!
So how can we learn to love our bodies exactly as they are? The answer lies in gratitude. We need to focus on how amazing our bodies really are! Think about it, from the top of our head, to the tip of our toes, each part of our bodies does something incredible! Take time to thank your body every day for all that it does FOR you! Look at yourself in the mirror and travel down your body thanking each and every one of your amazing parts! For example, say “thank you eyes for helping me to see the beauty that surrounds me!” And “thank you nose for helping me to smell the amazing scents in the world!” And “thank you mouth for helping me to smile, to eat and/or to kiss my loved ones!” You get the idea. Continue all the way down to your feet, showing gratitude for your amazing body.
I realize this may be difficult at first, looking at your body in the mirror and being grateful rather than judgmental, but I promise you if you make this a daily ritual, eventually it will no longer feel disingenuous. And over time, you will create new neural pathways to circumvent the negativity bias, and form a new habit of loving all your parts!