If you were in Nordstrom Rack around 11:30 last Wednesday, I apologize for my behavior. In the middle of active wear, the dreaded phone call came from my veterinarian about my sweet senior dog Nikki. “9 millimeter mass, inoperable. Maybe a month tops.“ To be honest, I knew something was terribly wrong and expected the worst. But it wasn’t until I heard the words that it really slammed me in the face. I just sobbed and sobbed right there in the store-for her, for me, for my daughters, for my parents who love her so much they actually take her for weekends sometimes.

Now we are watching her intently and waiting and preparing for the difficult decision ahead. I’m grasping for the courage to let her go when she tells me she’s ready. As I contemplate our good-bye, I realize she has taught me so much about love and its many forms. She found her way to us when my then 8-year- old daughter had an appendix attack and in my desperation to take her fear away I blurted out, “When it’s over, we’ll get a dog!”

It is this silly dog who literally smiles at us every morning, every time we come home, even when I get up in the night to go to the bathroom, I can hear her scrunching up her snoot and smiling. Her love is unconditional.  It is this gift that will stay. I’m so thankful that we had her and she had us. And I wonder, did I give enough? Did I make the most of this gift every day? I wonder how she could love us so consistently and with such enthusiasm. Thanks for all you’ve taught me, my friend. I hope we gave as much as we got.

Have you ever noticed that when you're not feeling good about yourself, you tend to make the assumption that others couldn't possibly love you the way you are? Psychologist call this projection, and it is often at the root of many relationship issues.  It's been said that 90% of our relationships take place in our heads, as we make assumptions as to what others are thinking and how they are feeling. When we project our feelings about ourselves onto others, we don't allow ourselves to accept the love that others are offering to us.  Projection distorts our perception of reality.

The truth is that our capacity to love others and for others to love us is directly related to our capacity to love ourselves.  Similar to the nature of self-care, where we need to take care of ourselves in order to have the capacity to care for others, we also need to love ourselves in order to have the capacity to love others as well as to accept their love in return.

Dr. Wayne Dyer said it best when he said "you can't give away  to others what you don't have."  Therefore, all love begins with self love.

One way to cultivate self love is to look at yourself through the eyes of a loved one.  See yourself as they see you.  This will enable you to see how truly magnificent you really are!