The other night I had a dream I was playing tennis with no pants on. I mean none. In the dream I lunged for a ball and felt a strange sensation of wind being in the wrong place and realized my tennis outfit was only half there. I woke up thinking, “What the heck was that all about?” And then it hit me. I had been swimsuit shopping earlier in the day. Not that I wanted to, but the stores are packed with summer wear and I’ve been down this road before. Blow it off in April and by the end of May, you’re stuck with the string bikinis in size extra small.

Listen, we’ve got enough products out there when we’re fully dressed to mask this and that, but swimsuits, you’re on your own. Swimsuit season is vulnerability season. It’s kind of like being seen without your pants on, isn’t it? It’s a self confidence pageant. For sure. But here’s what I’m thinking. It feels good to admit to it! It feels good to say I don’t like this and I don’t like that and that’s okay.

When we talk about accepting ourselves, I think we have to be okay with messy and imperfect in certain areas. I’m tall and lanky and flat chested, and I’ve had two kids, but so what? Maybe it’s up to me to figure out what I need to feel complete, to feel self-assured. Maybe it’s up to me to examine my insecurities and talk about them. Figure out the why behind the feeling and then take it in and let it go.

You know what I did? I snapped up the first two suits I tried on. There’s no perfect suit that will make me a perfect 10. I don’t need to try on 25 suits in search of the magic coverage. I need to say enough. I need to say I’m so sick of not liking things about myself. I need to show up with all my imperfections shined up and ready to enjoy the beach or the pool and celebrating what I have, without my first thought being what I don’t have.

‍

As Whitney Houston sings in her iconic song, "Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all!" Experts say that love is one of the most profound emotions known to human beings. And Dr. Brene Brown says "we are hard wired for love and belonging." So we instinctively know how to love others, yet oftentimes we forget how to love ourselves.

Self love is simple, but certainly not easy. In my research, I've uncovered three main components of self love; each of which correlates with a powerful affirmation to reinforce it's strength.

Self love includes:

• Self appreciation - Knowing and appreciating your strengths (affirmation: I am)
• Self acceptance - Knowing and embracing your perceived challenges/weaknesses (affirmation: So I am)
• Self compassion - showing kindness to yourself; silencing the inner critic by reframing your negative self talk (affirmation: I am NOT)

We will be digging into each of these components during our Third Annual Renewal Retreat. See details in the upcoming events section below. We hope you will join us for this life-changing event!