I discovered I really like sleeping with Kim! Now before you get the wrong idea, let me explain. Long story, but we found ourselves in the same hotel room with just one bed, thankfully, a king sized one. As we prepared for this trip with full knowledge of the sleeping situation, each day I got more nervous. I would sheepishly interject in our conversations to ask Kim really important questions like, “What if I snore?” “What if I pass gas?” “What if I wake you up when I get up in the night?”

Kim gave her usual slight smile and calming reply of, “It will be totally fine.” Yeah…that doesn’t stop a ruminator like me! I kept coming up with these ridiculous dramatic scenarios of horrible things I could do that would make Kim totally disgusted with me. Sigh. The rumination monster is a tough one to tame.

So by the time we put our heads on the pillows and turned off the lights that first night, I couldn’t fall asleep I had myself so worked up. It is in these situations that I turn to what we teach. I started to think about vulnerability, about who we show our true selves to, about when we are happy to do so, and when we are anxious about it. I remembered that vulnerability is really a gift that we can give to someone who cares about us. I remembered that those we love want to see us in all of our complexities, even if that involves snoring and passing gas.

I eventually drifted off and when I woke up in the morning and slithered out of the bed, I glanced at Kim and she was all curled up and sleeping peacefully. I realized I had never seen her sleeping before. Strange thought. It’s like the face a person shows the world is taken off. They look vulnerable, don’t you think? And then it came full circle. If you truly love and trust another person, I think you have to be brave enough to be fully present with them, to let them see all of you, not just the good stuff. Vulnerability is like a seesaw. You both have to put just the right amount of weight on each of your seats to create the perfect balance. Takes some risk for sure. You could end up slamming to the ground. But if you don’t, you find a place that feels weightless and wonderful.

When we got home and I went to bed with my husband and our nearly 30 years of familiarity, I was so glad I took that risk and enjoyed the gifts that vulnerability can give us.

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We love to talk about vulnerability at The Wisdom Coalition. This may seem odd as vulnerability feels like the opposite of joy! Dr. Brene Brown defines vulnerability as "uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure." Just thinking about those words alone brings about feelings of discomfort for most of us. But we'd like to help you reframe your thinking about vulnerability.

Oftentimes when we think about vulnerability we equate it with weakness, but Dr. Brown says that vulnerability is our most accurate measure of strength. She says “vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope empathy, accountability, and authenticity.” And who doesn’t want more of that?!? The truth is that vulnerability is a true superpower!

Here are some of my favorite Brene Brown quotes about vulnerability that may help you see it in a different light:

• “Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.”
  
• “Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen. It’s tough to do that when we’re terrified about what people might see or think. When we’re fueled by the fear of what other people think or that gremlin that’s constantly whispering “You’re not good enough” in our ear, it’s tough to show up. We end up hustling for our worthiness rather than standing in it.”
  
• “If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.”
  
• “Staying vulnerable is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection.”
  
• “Vulnerability is the core, the heart, the center, of meaningful human experiences.”

Reframing vulnerability as courage has been life-changing for me. I hope you will join us in making vulnerability your superpower!