There are still times when I am making my way into the house and I open the laundry room door and for a split second, I forget. I forget she’s not there. In my usual fashion, I'm juggling a dozen bags and purses and lunch bags, trying to fumble for the door handle and in that moment I’m waiting. Waiting for the ambush greeting. I whip the door open to silence. I listen to a quiet house. Nothing. And it hurts all over again.

I remember a year ago when we had to put her down. As I pet her for the last time, I thought, “How can it be possible that she’ll be gone?” That was actually the first question my younger daughter asked when I picked her up from school that day and broke the news that our sweet dog had left this earth. I remember having the same realization when my kids were born. How could they be not here one moment and here the next? We are marking this day with reflection and the realization that time is our friend and our enemy. Time makes the hurt have less of a sting but takes treasured memories farther and farther away doesn’t it?

So as we enter this New Year, I’m thinking about how precious the past was and how precious the future can be. To my mind, it’s about savoring what you can for as long as you can because what’s here one day may be gone the next. And the thing about the past is what you want to remember, you sometimes forget and what you want to forget, you usually remember. For now, I’m going forward with the thought that this New Year is a blank slate for all of us to create the images we want from the past and for the future. Make it a good one!

At the beginning of each year I choose a word or phrase that sets the intention for what I want to put my attention on over the course of the year.  It's my spin on a New Year's resolution.  This year I've chosen to focus on savoring.

Positive Psychology experts define savoring as noticing and appreciating the positive aspects of life. Savoring involves more than just experiencing pleasure though; in essence it involves mindfulness and conscious attention to the experience of pleasure. We can savor the past, present or future.

Research done by Elizabeth Kensinger, a psychologist at Boston College, shows that negative experiences produce more activity in the orbitofrontal cortex and the amygdala, two emotion-processing regions of the brain. This activity results in greater recall of a negative event because the greater the activity in this part of the brain, the easier it is to bring it to mind with specificity. This makes it imperative that we actively choose to focus on positive aspects in life and savor positive experiences.

Research shows that there are four basic types of savoring:

1. basking ~ reveling in the moment
2. marveling ~ getting lost in the wonder of a moment
3. luxuriating ~ indulging in a sensation
4. thanksgiving ~ expressing gratitude

And suggest five basic ways of enhancing savoring:

1. absorption ~ allowing yourself to be immersed in an experience.
2. sharpening the senses ~ fixating on one sensation while blocking out others.
3. memory-building ~ do something that will help you recall moments of joy later.
4. sharing with others ~ tell others about your positive experiences.
5. self-congratulation ~ allow yourself to feel good about savoring an experience.  Relish in the experience and permit yourself a bit of healthy pride.

Wishing you a joy-filled 2018 ~ don't forget to savor the moments from 2017!