If you came to our Renewal Retreat a couple of weeks ago, you found out a little secret about me. I love to curse. I tried my best, but I let a few slip here and there. And while I’m confessing, I haven’t been very good about it on the podcast either. I think it’s because I’m originally from New York. Born in Brooklyn actually. You could say I come from a long line of connoisseurs in the curse word. When I was born, I imagine the doctor pulled me out and said, “Holy s#$t, it’s a f*@%ing girl!”

To me, sometimes only a curse word will do. In our book, The Power Of A Pivot, in our chapter about friendship, I wrote about how another mom and I used to call each other in the afternoons during the days of toddlers and tantrums. We’d both stick our heads in our pantries and let the longest string of curse words fly until we were laughing our heads off. Good thing I didn’t know Kim back then because she, unlike me, never curses. It’s just not in her DNA. But that’s okay with me and my cursing is okay with her, usually.

The subject of our retreat was understanding how to love all of the parts of yourself, the things you can’t change and the things you can. Science tells us that this idea of self-love is really the foundation for everything, our relationships, our success, our level of self-confidence, even our sex life. Okay so now I'm talking about cursing and sex in the same newsletter! But I’m hoping to get your attention because this subject of self-love is so vital for each and every one of us. We had a beautiful afternoon with many heartfelt moments exploring this concept but we also had some challenges as honoring ourselves is still so difficult for so many of us, myself included. We worked on a self-love supply kit to use as inspiration for all of our own personal journeys. Don’t tell Kim, but I put a few curse words in mine because I’m going to continue what we started and work on accepting myself just the way I am.

One of my favorite sayings is "comparison is the thief of joy!" I remember the first time I heard that expression it gave me chills. I knew that comparison was unstable, as it could be used for both your benefit and your detriment depending on who you compared yourself to and for what reason, but the truth is that comparison of any kind diminishes our self worth. We are worthy exactly as we are, not because we are better at something than someone else, but because we are the best version of ourselves.

Experts differentiate between self esteem and self worth as follows. They say self esteem is about comparing yourself to others to see how you measure up. In this way, it's variable based on the activities you do and how well you do them. This is finding your worth from the outside in. While self worth is about looking inside yourself and recognizing that you are enough just the way you are. In this way you realize your worth from the inside out.

Another one of my favorite sayings is that "no one can beat you at being you!" I like the analogy of running your own race in life and staying in your own lane. Basically this means that it doesn't matter what the person next to you (or on social media) is doing, they are not running YOUR race. We are all equipped with our own personal strengths for OUR race in life. We have what we need INSIDE of us, and we don't need to look outside of ourselves for validation of our worthiness.