I always used to love the word positive until my husband and daughter tested positive for COVID-19. I followed of course, which, oh by the way, was three days after my second vaccination. I’ve had better luck. In the midst of it all, being the caregiver and then the patient, I’d say the fear might have been the worst of it. Anxiety was my constant companion and would wrap itself around me like a lover with soft whispers and caresses that became all I could think about. It consumed me, drove my decisions and coaxed me to a path of free-fall panic. It joined hands with my fever and held me hostage.

For awhile, I stayed there, wrapped in it. But I started to realize it was consuming me, destroying me from the inside out. I began to realize the only way to stop the strangulation by my own thoughts was with my own thoughts. I had to change the dialogue, to start to focus on the actual possibility that all of these horrible things I was imagining might not actually come true. And then I took it one step further and began to tell myself that I was strong, that my body was working hard and could heal itself. I created a mantra saying to my body, “Thank you for working so hard to make me better.” I kept repeating it and when the intrusive thoughts came in, I allowed the mantra to talk back. Now, if you’re reading this newsletter you know that I’m not usually the one talking about mantras. That’s Kim talking. But fever makes you do funny things. I have to say, as usual, she knows what she’s talking about. It saved me, changed my outlook and made me feel so much better. The anxiety was a companion I just didn’t need taking over the isolation. It was all frankly hard enough.

Now, sitting here on the other side and looking back, I'm incredibly thankful and grateful for the reminder of the power of my own thoughts!

Our thoughts, emotions and actions are inextricably connected and have a bi-directional relationship. Based on my research, I have developed a way to help further explain this concept. It's called the TEA cycle (Thoughts, Emotions, and Actions = TEA.) It demonstrates how our thoughts impact our emotions, which then impact our actions. The TEA cycle also demonstrates the occurrence of a bi-directional relationship; meaning the inverse is true as well; our actions impact our emotions as well as our thoughts.

Here's an example of how the TEA cycle works; when we have a thought (such as getting Covid), it creates a cascade of associated emotions (such as fear and anxiety), which then impacts our actions (we may shut down and retreat from the world.) This same pattern takes place regardless of the order in which the cycle is triggered. For example, the cycle could be triggered by the emotions, in which case the fear and anxiety could precede the thoughts about Covid and actually begin a spiral of negative thoughts.

Although we may easily recognize this spiral in the negative direction, the good news is that it also works in the positive direction! When we are proactive with our thoughts, emotions and actions, we can create an upward spiral with the TEA cycle. For example, when we choose to engage in healthy actions (such as eating a nutrient-dense diet, exercising regularly, and managing our stress affectively), we will positively impact our thoughts and emotions about ourselves and others (we will feel good physically and emotionally, and we inevitably project those thoughts and feelings on to others.)

It is also true that when we intentionally choose to focus our thoughts on what’s strong rather than what’s wrong in life, we raise our emotional vibration (our feelings), and our actions will follow in kind.

But don’t just take my word for it, give it a try! Regardless of where you choose to focus your efforts (your thoughts, emotions, or actions), the outcome will be the same - increased wellbeing and joy! The inverse is true as well, start with unconditional joy, and the result will be improved thoughts, emotions, and actions! That's how the TEA cycle leads to positivi-tea (see what I did there?!? :-)